The Man on the Bus Who Said He Controlled the Weather



One day a few years back I went to downtown Seattle for a job interview. Once it was finished I took the bus to get back home. While waiting for the bus, a couple of people asked if I was a Jehovah's Witness, and I answered no; this seemed to happen to me whenever I got dressed up in a suit and tie for a job interview. On the bus there was a man of generous proportions, dressed in grey sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt, with the addition of a bike helmet on his head. If the fellow bus rider didn't say anything I wouldn't have paid him much mind, and would have occupied myself with either my phone or the book I was reading at the time. But alas, he opened his mouth and I couldn't help but listen to him.

"I'm a multibillionaire," said the grey sweatpants wearing gentleman. He spoke to another bus rider, and not to me, although I was within earshot.

"Really?" said the other bus driver. Based on the tone of his voice, I honestly couldn't tell whether he truly believed him or was simply humoring him.

"Yes," said the man. "I am the richest man in the world, and nobody knows it, and I control the economy, but I like to take the bus every now and then to get in touch with the commoners of this Earth."

"Huh," said the other bus rider.

"I've also taken a bike and ridden across the United States," said the man in sweatpants.

"Okay, cool," said the other bus rider. While I was listening to the man ramble (I honestly couldn't help it since he was pretty loud) I figured it would be wise not to actually engage with him.

"And I control everything!" continued the man in sweatpants. "The economy! The government! Who the President is! When and where we go to war! I even control the weather with my inventions!" He took a breath before continuing. "There is no God! But I am the closest thing to a god there is on this Earth!"

He got off at the next bus stop, apparently to continue bike riding and secretly ruling the world.

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