What Does Daryl Hannah Think?

            There’s a lot going on in the world right now. The coronavirus is ravaging the health of multitudes throughout the world. The economies of several countries are going crazy. We’re truly living in a chaotic and dangerous time that will live on in infamy in the history books.

            But none of that has stopped people from talking about Daryl Hannah’s butt.

            Daryl Hannah is an actress known for many roles in films ranging from “Blade Runner,” “Wall Street,” and the two “Kill Bill” movies. She’s also married to the legendary singer and model train enthusiast Neil Young. One of her most famous roles was as the mermaid Madison in the 1984 romantic comedy “Splash,” which is one of the countless movies on the new streaming service Disney+.

            Now here is where the controversy sets in. In the movie “Splash,” there are a couple of brief scenes where Daryl Hannah is nude. Her character is a mermaid and has never needed to wear clothes before; thus when she first becomes human, she’s naked. For maybe a grand total of ten seconds, there are a couple of scenes where the actress’s bare bottom is quite visible. Personally I think the scenes in “Splash” are very mild, and make sense plot wise. If I was a parent I don’t think I would have any issue with my kids seeing them.

            For context, here are the nude scenes in “Splash” in their original form (thanks to YouTube).

            There is now a controversy because the Disney Company, trying to keep their family friendly reputation in tact, has censored these scenes on their new streaming service. In the old days before the invention of streaming services, when a TV station felt the need to cover up a nude scene, they would simply blur the actor’s body or place black bars on it (or maybe just cut the scene entirely). But now, thanks to the ever-increasing capabilities of digital technology, the folks at Disney did something a little different. Daryl Hannah’s character has extremely long hair in the movie. So to cover up her butt, they digitally lengthened it (as shown down below).

            This has caused a lot of controversy (along with a lot of people simply making fun of the situation). There are outcries online about censorship, along with the need to preserve film on physical media. There’s also worry about corporations using the increasing abilities of digital technology to keep censoring classic movies and practically destroying a part of our cinematic history.

            But as I was reading up on this issue, I kept wondering, “What does Daryl Hannah think about this?” As far as I know, she herself hasn’t been contacted about this controversy, and she’s the one who bared her body for that movie. I also don’t think she’s addressed this on Twitter or any other social media. Personally, I don’t know Daryl Hannah and have never met her, but I can imagine three different reactions from her.

            Number One:

            “That day I had to get naked for “Splash” was one of the darkest of my entire life! It was a day filled with shame and humiliation, as I had to stand completely bare before an entire cast and crew and get filmed! I still have nightmares about it! I am so glad and grateful that Disney+ covered up my posterior.”

            Number Two:

            “Why would Disney want to cover me up?! Don’t they think I just look lovely? That glorious day when I got to show off my gorgeous, God-given body in the prime of my life for the entire world to see was the most empowering day of my life! I loved every minute of it!”

            Number Three:

            “Why are you asking me about a movie I did over thirty years ago? You know I’ve had other stuff going on with my life, right? I honestly could care less about this whole situation. I’m not even going to bother with it. I’m just going to go back to my big mansion with Neil Young, where he’ll serenade me with his guitar and we’ll play with model trains together.”

            Before I end this article, I do have one final thought. If Disney+ is still going to continue to slightly censor “Splash,” could they not put an unrated version of it on Hulu? Disney has a deal going on where one can get subscriptions to Disney+, ESPN, and Hulu for one price. Little ones could see the sanitized version of “Splash” on Disney+ if the company still feels the need to do so, and have adults and older kids watch the original version on Hulu.

Note: If you'd like to check out my fantasy novel in progress, "The Princess of Infinite Tomorrows," you can do so at https://princessofinfinitetomorrows.blogspot.com/.