How Did I Get Here Part II.
This is the second part of a series of blog articles. The first in the series can be read here.
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I took a variety of electives in high school. During my freshman year I took another art class. The following year I took a keyboarding class. During my junior and senior years I took a mix of acting, photography, and sculpture. I also participated in multiple clubs after the school day was done, my favorite being Asian Club. Outside of class I fell in love with movies and the idea of filmmaking, renting both classic and foreign films from the local Blockbuster, developing my taste in them. I also dreamed of international travel, and began looking deeply into the possibility of backpacking through Europe.
By the time I graduated from high school I was debating between two main careers. I was considering going into filmmaking, maybe even becoming a director like Steven Spielberg or Akira Kurosawa. On the other end of the spectrum, I was thinking about becoming a flight attendant like my Mom once was. I could travel the world, fly on airplanes all day (favorite form of transport!), and use my flight benefits to see more stuff.
After high school I went to community college for a couple of years and got my Associate’s in General Education. I figured that it was a smart move on my part because a) I still wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do and b) it’s so much less expensive than regular college. I had a good time there, making some great friends and participating in a lot of the fun activities that the college had to offer.
As I was getting closer to earning my Associate’s degree, I got ready to attend the University of Central Florida. I applied to the radio-TV program (which was exclusive), writing an essay and showing off some photographs I’d taken and little films I had made in my spare time. There was a part of me that debated whether I really wanted to continue with my college education; perhaps I could become a flight attendant instead. But I got the news that I had been accepted into the program, and decided to go forward. Besides I had earned a scholarship, which covered a large percentage of my tuition, so I figured I should just keep going to college.
I remember the first week that I was at the University of Central Florida. I had a few basic classes for my major. And I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was a part of me that wondered, “Do I really want to do this?” At one point at one of my classes the professor said, “I have applications for an internship.” Everyone got up and enthusiastically ran towards him, except for me. Before the end of that first week I went to one of the offices and said, “I’m planning on changing my major.”
“Alright,” said the lady at the office. “Do you know what you want to change it to?”
I had no clue at that point. I ended up leaving the office a few minutes later, with nothing having changed.
I found the first semester at UCF kind of rough. I struggled in my classes, and kept wondering if I really wanted to be in that program. At the same time, my father was unemployed and struggling to find a job; this went on for a long time. During his constant unemployment I thought to myself, “If my Dad, who had a Master’s degree, is struggling to find a job, what’s the point of me even finishing college?”
For a variety of reasons, not just my mixed feelings about my major, I ended up going into therapy (free thanks to the fact that I was a student). I also talked to another student counselor there, a woman named Sherri. Due to both my first semester at UCF and my father’s constant unemployment, I was thinking of dropping out of college. “I’m thinking of going travelling and moving somewhere different,” I said. “I’m not sure if this is for me.” I told Sherri that I had a little savings and was thinking of using that to get going on a new stage in my life, something completely different.
Sherri then said, “Why not use that money to help pay for tuition instead? At least keep going for one more semester.” As I mentioned earlier most of my tuition at UCF was covered by scholarships I had earned, but there was a little bit left over, which was covered by my parents for my first semester at UCF. So for the rest of my education at UCF, I covered it with money I was earning and had saved up, making it one less thing my parents were paying for during the financial crisis (which was not just limited to my own family but to the whole nation and world at that point).
I can’t say that the program was awful. I made some great friends, worked on the student-run news program, and experimented with video equipment. I went to football games and other activities, and took advantage of the University’s gym and pool. I also hosted a show on the school’s radio channel, which I loved; that’s probably my favorite aspect of my time at UCF. But I kept wondering if that was what I really wanted to do, and I was honestly not proud of the work I was churning out, even if it got me a good grade; I’m honestly more proud of this blog I’ve been working on than the assignments I did for school. And there were a few moments that stuck out in my head, which slightly soured my thoughts about the program I was in.
During my first or second semester there, there was talk in a technology class about smart phones; they were becoming more mainstream when I was in college. The professor there then did something I found absolutely irritating to say the least. There was a girl in that class that had applied to an internship, but didn’t quite get it because someone else had applied right before her. The professor then said, in front of the entire class, “Well if you had spent some extra money on a smart phone, you could have probably applied before her and gotten that internship.” In my head I was thinking, “You motherfucker. You’re belittling this girl who is probably taking out loans and living off ramen to be here for not spending money she probably doesn’t have on the latest phone. Fuck you!”
There was another moment later on when I was talking to a few of the other students in the program, shortly after a class. We were talking about movies and I mentioned that I thought “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” was a great one. All of the other students laughed when I said that, and one of them replied by saying, “That’s such an old movie.”
During my final semester at UCF, I honestly didn’t put in the effort I had in my earlier classes. I basically did just enough to get by and graduate with a Bachelor’s. Not saying that I’m proud of that, but I did it. There was a part of me that still thought about going into film or television, or something of the like. I wondered if I really could direct a film like some of the many filmmakers I had grown to admire, but I had mixed feelings.
“I know that I want to create,” I thought. “I want to make art and tell stories in
some way. Also I want to travel.”
As an aside, I remember talking to my Dad once when I was in the midst of college. He basically talked about how he thought of college as, "the best years of his life." I on the other hand was thinking along the lines of, "I have a few ideas for what I want to do beyond college that are hopefully more exciting."
As an aside, I remember talking to my Dad once when I was in the midst of college. He basically talked about how he thought of college as, "the best years of his life." I on the other hand was thinking along the lines of, "I have a few ideas for what I want to do beyond college that are hopefully more exciting."
To be abundantly clear, I'm not saying that I'm not grateful for my time in college, or for earning my Bachelor's degree. But if I had to do college over again I might have picked a different major. I’m not saying that I regret earning my Bachelor’s in the field of radio-TV production; I meet some good friends, learned a few things, and had some good experiences (plus it looks good on my resume). And I’m not even sure if the other majors I might have done instead looking back would have really lead to more career opportunities; I’ve never had much interest in becoming a doctor or a lawyer, or in even earning a business degree. But maybe I would have been happier with a different major and maybe been more successful with it. There are four different majors that I can think of that I might have done instead. They are…
1) English (with an emphasis on Creative Writing) – I’ve pretty much always wanted to be a writer. And my absolute favorite class when I was at UCF was actually a creative writing class on screenwriting.
2) Art – As I mentioned earlier, I discovered a love of drawing, painting, and just art in general. I draw to this day and one of my bucket list items is to actually write and illustrate a graphic novel.
3) Theater – Sometimes I think I would have been more successful, or at least had more fun, if I had done a major in which I was center stage rather than behind the scenes. I’ve actually done work as an extra before (in commercials for local theme parks with my family and in an independent horror film called “Second Coming”). And one of my favorite aspects of college was doing my little radio show, getting to have my voice heard. I know that getting a career started in acting is tough to say the least, but maybe I would have been more successful at it.
4) Social Studies – I’m honestly not sure how I would have used a degree in social studies. Maybe I would have gone on to earn a graduate degree and used that to become a professor. Maybe it would have looked good on my resume for becoming a flight attendant. But I’ve always been good at social studies (it’s always been one of my best subjects in school), and been fascinated by the world around me.
I remember walking through the Oviedo Marketplace (the local mall) once at around that time. It was pretty empty, and many of the stores were closing thanks to the recession. The major draw to the local mall was the movie theater, which I suppose kept it afloat. As I was wandering through the mall, looking through the books at the Barnes and Noble and at a couple of other stores, I had this inner voice say, “Your time here is coming to a close.” For a long time, no matter how much I loved the idea of international travel, there had been a part of me that figured that I would always live in Florida, from when I first moved there as a middle school student to an old retired man. I even figured that I would ultimately be buried somewhere underneath Floridian soil, or have my ashes spread at one of the state’s beaches. But as much as I loved (and still love) Florida, there was a part of me at that moment that knew that I would leave it, sooner rather than later.
And soon I would find myself on a completely different path in a completely different country.
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